It doesn't make you a bad person but it sure is a lost battle to go that way.
Revenge is a dead end for you and for her!
If you go that way, you'll waste your time and totally miss the point.
Right now, she is building shields so there are very little chances to reach her anyway.
Look for other alternatives to get your power back.
It's okay to use your anger and frustration by the way.
These are positive sources of freeing fire.
Use these to give yourself a positive kick to train and go to the gym.
Simply don't express these forces in a self destructive way.
Don't hurt yourself or anyone else in the process.
To your power!