January 22, 2010

Rebound relationship? - ARTICLE

Is it okay to jump straight in the arms of another woman?

Sure, it is okay!

However, if you go that way, you need to do it with awareness.

Don’t give your life away right now.

You are already dealing with your ex.

The first step is to get your full power back.

Jumping straight into a new committed relationship might fill a gap.

On the other hand you might miss the occasion to discover something essential about yourself.

This is why after a break up, many men decide to have a relationship-free life for a while.

They simply want to take time to digest what happened and find real answers to essential questions.

If a new woman invades your space straight away, you might miss this opportunity to step back and understand the dynamics of your past relationship and break up.

The best alternative in a break up situation is to “date lightly”.

You can spend quality time with women.

You can share, flirt and lighten up.

This is highly recommended.

However, make sure you fully digest you break up before you commit yourself again.

Why is that?

Because you need to learn from past mistakes.

If something went wrong in your past relationship, you need to find out what that is.

This break up happened for a series of reasons.

You need to find out exactly why.

Once you find out why, develop new relationship skills.

It might be better communication with you partner, stronger boundaries, loving in a different way, establishing different priorities, etc.

There is always a lesson to be learned in a break up situation.

Make sure you learn it.

If you jump into a new relationship straight away, you’ll miss on this reflection time and keep reproducing the same mistakes.

This “digestion” process might happen very fast or very slowly.

It could take a day or 6 months to understand.

Maybe she did it all wrong and there is nothing you could have done better.


Take a moment though to seriously look into it.

Don’t be in denial!

Be realistic!

Learn something from your experience and use this experience to design a new more solid relationship model which works for you.

If you hear yourself talking about your ex with a new date, stop!

First it is a lack of tact.

Second, it keeps you focused on your ex.

Use your new social circle as an occasion to refresh.

Sure, it is okay to share a couple of stories with some friends but if you need to talk, better choose a special moment with a good friend: one evening, a 1 hour chat, nice terrace, that’s it.

Don’t keep on going into the same emotional dead end.

People tend to get tired and after a while, they simply run away from it.