June 30, 2011

Now that my ex broke up, I totally lost trust in marriage and relationships - What do you think? - TIP

Marriage is beautiful!

It does work for many!

A relationship works while it lasts.

The fact that a marriage ends doesn't mean that it didn't work.

It means that your relationship came to the end of its natural cycle.

It worked while it lasted.

A part of you is programmed to believe that relationships are meant to last for a life time.

This is no longer true for most relationships.

The actual average marriage duration in the west is 7 years.

This means that if you get married, the chances of getting divorced within 7 years are 50%.

Does this mean you should not get married?

That's up to you decide.

An idea might be to slightly shift your mind in the way you see marriage and relationships.

Instead of fully depending on your partner for love and happiness, you develop a higher degree of emotional and energetic independence.

This means that you can be happy with or without partner.

The day you engage in a committed relationship or marriage, you sustain a higher degree of energetic and emotional independence.

You still love with your whole heart but you know how to easily go back to yourself if you have to.

You might as well lower your expectations and include the idea of impermanence in the way you look at relationships.

Realize that this simple concept deeply conflicts with the traditional romantic dream that suggests that "love is forever".

While it is very tempting to believe that, in practical, emotions and feelings shift.

Feelings change.

You might still "love" someone you dated 10 years ago.

It doesn't necessarily mean that you will marry the person or that you are compatible for building a committed relationship.

Simply think twice before you commit.

People often marry too early because they are afraid of what will happen if they don't.

Be smart!

Stay awake!